bored.

So today would've been my first day of high school had there not been camp, I didn't go to camp, obviously but it's no biggie since it's only going to be for a couple of days. Hopefully there hasn't already been groups formed or else I'm going to be pretty much a loner. Sigh.

Anyway, I know in this blog all I've basically talked about is me, me, revenge, high school, no lockers in high school, me, revenge etc. But all that's going to change *inserts dramatic music* for today, at least. Yesterday I went to the library to burrow some books that I wanted, I had 15-20 books that I had chosen to burrow (most of which I had not idea how I was going to carry all the way to the parking lot since I had no library bag) but I didn't have to worry about that because as soon as my mum laid eyes on my books she put them all back in their original places. She said this, "How are you going to focus on studying more if you plan on reading all these books? You're going to start high school in a few days!".

this was me

So I was basically crushed, and she only let me burrow like 3 books, and I even had to beg for that. It just so happened that one of my friends was only also at the library and I spent like ten minutes whining on about how my evil mum only made me burrow a few books. She just looked at me weirdly like I had suddenly asked why we needed food to survive. After I finished my rant, we went on to the topic of high school.

She was pretty nervous about that, let me tell you. A few times before yesterday I had asked her on the phone what she thought about starting the next stage of her life, she immediately got all jittery and uneasy as soon I asked her about it, so I gave up trying to ask her the 10th time.

my face whenever she tried to change the subject

However, this time she couldn't run away so she sighed an overly dramatic sigh and gave in. I was kind of surprised at how much she could go on about the reasons she felt queasy about high school, and I tried to make her feel better by saying how at least she doesn't have camp the very FIRST FREAKING DAYS of high school. But then she was like, "At least you're funny, and people want to be friends with you and blah blah blah blah blah." I stopped listening to her as soon as she uttered to word "funny".

Funny? I'm as funny as a rock on the ground. I bet most people laugh at my (sorry attempts of) jokes because they feel sorry for me. And even then, I'm sure that they're laughing at me, not with me.

But anyway, so my friend went on and on with her list that I reckon had 1000 things on them because it seemed like she was never going to stop, and when she did I let out a mini sigh of relief. I tried to make her feel better, but I was so caught up in the way her mouth could move so fast and how she could talk so much without pausing for to breath, that I kind of made her feel worse by not denying anything.

So yeah, in the end I learnt something, I'm terrible at trying to make someone feel better. But I guess you could expect that since I'm awkward at everything when it comes to being social.