be prepared

Let me just say one thing before you read any further,

This post is going to be a big hot mess.

Now that we've acknowledged that, let's get shall to business shall we? We shall. Sorry, I literally just woke up half an hour and let's just say that I pretty much woke up, walked across the room, picked up my laptop and went straight back to bed. So if you're reading this right now, and I sound like a ripped up dictionary with all my words flying everywhere, now you'll know why.

The first thing that I had prepared for today (yeah, I list the things I want to talk about, sue me) was talking about a new series that I think I've fallen in love with. Actually, I know I've fallen in love with it. I knew I said that no series could ever come close to The Lying Game but let me tell you, this series is awesome on a whole 'nother level. In fact, both series are perfection in their own right, so TLG is still pretty high up on the scale.

It's called Angelfall. *insert dramatic music*

The book is amazing. The main character is funny, sassy and sarcastic, and I feel that a lot of books lack that nowadays. Reading about the post apocalyptic gore, and other icky stuff can make me feel queasy at times, but it's her sense of humour that somehow whisked me away from all that kind of stuff and let me focus on the task at hand.

The second book is called World After.

aka the second time I fell in love again.

Susan Ee is an amazing writer, and the sequencing of the story, the pace, and the amount of detail put into each event was evident. I legit couldn't put the book down. The next book in the series is set to be publish on May 12 this year, and I cAN'T WAIT. THAT'S FIVE DAYS BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY! I don't even need any presents, reading End of Days will suffice.

excuse me i need a moment to breathe

There's an app in the app store called GIFs and it's basically a Gif Keyboard and I'm so jealous because there's isn't one in the play store aND DO YOU FEEL MY PAIN?!? At least all the apps are getting huge makeovers because of Android Lollipop. It's quite interesting really, so how they incorporate material design into each logo. 

Sorry, I'm just obsessed with technology.

Moving on.

You know when you read a book, and you just love and you read it as you fall asleep and your whole life revolves around that book because it's the special? #legomoviereference 

Anyway.

But then, thunder strikes and you pick up that very book later on in your life and you cringe and your heart starts beating fast because how could you EVER like that book?

Yeah, well, that's what happened to me a short time ago. 

The main character, who I was thought I could relate to, is a whiny little brat who I wish I could just beat with an umbrella. She's selfish, and she hardly ever takes the sacrifices her parents make for her into consideration. Instead, she gloats about the one thing that her parents can't do for her, and guess what, RUNS AWAY. This happens in the third book, Model Misfit and gosh,

There were so many moments when I would just wonder, why aren't the parents doing anything? I mean, she is an only child, but her step mom has a child, so now she has a sister, and the parents are always so tired just to make things work out, and she doesn't even think about that. Not even for one second. She just storms off, slams the door to her room, and expects them to be the ones to apologies.

Honey, if that were me, and I did what you just did, I would be in so much trouble. And I'm certain that so many other people would as well. And you'd think, that that the girl's about 13 or 14 but NO. She turning 17 in a few days and she's still acting like a 3 year old! The only difference is that she ain't wearing a diaper, but I'm still a little uncertain about that.

On to another topic.

Me being me, I decided to see if I could possible catch a glimpse of my year 8 timetable, 

It didn't work.

The website that I used to view last year's timetable kept on saying, "View 2014 version." So that either means that the year 8 timetables for people haven't been finalised or they forgot I went to the school and did everyone else's. I'm hoping it's the latter.

At least I'll have something interesting to blog about.

And that, my friends, is how a blogger's mind works. 

But I'm a little peeved to be honest. Apparently, people who chose to do maths extension won't get any electives this year. To top that off, we don't have any lockers, and trying to my PE uniform inside my bag is a hassle itself! My school bag end up being super heavy, and who knows what damage that's doing to my body! I'm telling you, any medical bills I'm getting are going straight to the principal. 

Anyway, there are bunch of things that I'm excited for in 2015. Such as tech advancements, which I'm super super excited for. But all in all, I'm just going to let this year...flow, the way it wants to flow. 

After all, it's not like I would be able to plan seeing Tim from BB in a mall right? I swear he's not even that famous anymore. I should have been all, "Wow, you look really familiar.." to him and watched his reaction, and then make it into a gif and use it in one of my posts.

yes. YES.

I wanted to make this post have a happier vibe than my last post, which I'm kind of scared to read again because it's basically my 2 am thoughts written on paper. Well, you get what I mean.

Hey, but imagine if there was a delete button for the internet?

what will i be like in the future?

In today's post, as suggested by the title, I have decided to talk about some of my personal fears and questions about, well, the future.

I think that at least one point in our lives, we ask ourselves this very question, "What will I be like in the future?" In fact, it is this question that is capable of drawing out madness and insanity from anyone. Everyone has different reasons for asking this question, but not everyone wants to hear the answer. But there is always one key factor that drives us to wonder this over and over again; curiosity.

There are so many other questions about life itself that can make us feel helpless just thinking about them, such as, "What is the meaning of life?" or, "What happens after we die?". Perhaps it's the mere fear of thinking about these things that leads us to distract ourselves by doing things we know we'll regret.

For instance, I could really like a book this year, but who's to say that I will next year? What if my interests change, and I'm no longer the person I am at this current moment? It scares me to think even for a second that I won't enjoy doing the things I am now, and will become a completely different person. In the end, I know it's my choice whether or not I like something, but to think of another me a year from now, or even in ten years is like thinking of another person altogether. I know I've changed drastically from the person I was last year, but I'm happy with the changes. What if I'm not happy with myself next year?

I don't know why, but lately I've been thinking about these questions. A lot. Even to the point where I envision myself as a different person, and wonder about whether or not I would approve of her one year from now. I kind of understand this feeling, because I associated it with the transition from 2014 to 2015. Everyone assumes that they'll have their life in check, they'll work on their resolutions, and just be a better person overall. But really, you're just waking up to a new day, that just happens to be in 2015. You're still the same person, you're still doing the same thing. So it's not like you suddenly just transformed into this person who has everything planned and in control, right?

So why is it, that even after knowing all this, I still continue to think about what I'll be like in the future? After all, it is up to me, right?

My goal for 2015 isn't to accomplish any resolutions (I didn't make one anyway) it's for it to be amazing, and I ain't gonna let nobody ruin this year for me.

Because you know that feeling when you don't do something, and then after much convincing you finally accomplish doing it, and how you immediately feel so happy you could burst, because you hung on, even though everything was telling you to let go?

That's what I want 2015 to be like. That's all. I just want to be happy.

 That's all life is. Breathing in, breathing out. The space between two breaths. 

...and I intend to make every moment of it count.

woke up like dis

From the moment I woke this morning, I felt really calm and nice. I don't know what it was but I had a feeling that today was going to be a good day. So far nothing horrible has happened, apart from me looking in the mirror (that was terrifying) so fingers crossed that the whole day remains this way.

I want to make some really exciting posts, but so far nothing exciting has really happened. I kind of want aliens to abduct me just so I can blog about. Do you this aliens have wifi in their UFOs? These are the real questions we should be asking.

If you guys have read this blog for a while (I really don't know if anyone does) you'd know that I am a massive tech enthusiast. Part of me wants to make a YouTube account solely related to tech stuff where I can try and review the newest devices, but that would require money. And let's face it, I ain't gonna be able to afford some iphone 6 to review! I barely have enough money to go the movies, let alone buy expensive stuff! And hello, if you're reading this blog we all know that you're in the same boat, so let's not be judgmental here, okay? Also, I am such a procrastinator. I mean, if I was going to have lunch with the president at two, chances are I'm going to wait till ten minutes before until I actually bother to get dressed. That's just me. I probably wouldn't even upload videos for a whole month, and then wonder why no is subscribing to my channel.

I'm currently looking at cydia tweaks, and even though I don't have an iPhone or any apple related product, anymore, (I gave my iPod to my brother) the videos are still pretty interesting. And who knows, maybe I will have an iPhone some day and be able to jailbreak it!

Ha. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, shall we?

Honestly, sometimes I just want to yell at people who destroy their phones or whatever on YouTube for 'research purposes' and I basically die a little every time they destroy the beautiful iPhone 6, but it's not my money so I can't really judge.

But seriously, just stop.

i'm so lazy

I totally forgot about uploading yesterday, it pretty much slipped my mind. But to be fair, I had to fix my string art project since someone, I'm not going to be naming names or anything...
*cough* oneofmybrothers *cough* wrecked it while I was asleep. Not to mention, I had to search for some more string because I didn't have enough to re do it. Plus, the string that was available was tangled...

Sorry, I couldn't help it.

Basically, I had to spend half an hour trying to untangle it, which pretty much equated to me giving up and using some string that I was trying to save,

#stringartproblems.

Anyway, yesterday wasn't really different from any other day. To be honest, I kind of expected everything to be spectacular, and have people throw parties on the street, but nothing like that happened. Probably because they're all tired from staying up so late for New Years. I wouldn't be surprised. I texted all of my friends at 12 AM in the morning, and most of them replied. Most.

Today was no different, I woke up at 10 AM, and proceeded life as normal. I reeeaaallllyyy don't want school to start soon, especially since I'm quite enjoying this holiday spirit. But hey, you can't everything in life, right? Just slave away at a desk for more than 12 years of your life, and then after that do the same, only in University, and then eventually, have that happen to you in your job. There's really no escaping is there?

BUT THIS IS MY FIRST POST OF 2015!

I just can't believe it's 2015 and there's still no flying cars. 

I mean, if there were, I would definitely be able to afford it. Ha. Ha. Ha...

It's a catchy song, alright?

So that's all I have for today, sorry if it wasn't very exciting. I'm kind of running out of things to talk about, and plus I don't think you people want to hear about what I ate for breakfast.

it's been a crazy, hectic, year

It's the 31st of December.

And you know what that means....

Eating nutella and regretting my life decisions! Nah, not really, This year has been pretty much, in one word; awesome. Starting high school has been life changing, it's opened up and offered me so many new opportunities, friends and not to mention experiences I'll remember years to come. In fact, just a few minutes ago I pranked my brother into thinking I was controlling his computer. He though it was a hacker at first, and was literally freaking out, I wanted to continue the prank for a few more days but I felt so bad I just had to end it.

this was him during the prank

this was him after I confessed

Asides from this major highlight in my life, which is being able to successfully prank my brother (asides from the unfortunate fact that I forgot to take a video of it) there's a lot of things that I've had happen to me this year, both highs and lows that I;ll take as a learning opportunity in preparation for year 8. 

During this break I played GTA: San Andreas, and also finished the game. The ending credits nearly made me tear up. Apart from that, there were plenty of instances in school and out when I felt like doing just that, except for the opposite reasons. If you people even bother reading my blog, you'd know that the may-july time period was definitely one of my darkest moments of this year. I struggled to keep up with homework, assignments, this resulted in me being really moody and always lashing out at my family. I'm not proud of the fact that these things happened, I'm proud that I was able to improve. And that, is one of my biggest accomplishments this year. 

Science was one of the subjects that I had to get used to as I was pretty clueless when it came to everything related to it, don't get me wrong, I still get puzzled over scientific things, just not as much as the start of the year. It's a pretty embarrassing thing to admit since I want to be a doctor when I grow up, but oh well, what can you do. *Mum Voice* "Probably study harder and stop spending so much time on your laptop!" 

Anyway.

I got surprisingly good results for science in my report card, and because of that I am SO HAPPY. I thought I was lucky just to be able to get an 'A' but no, there was more to come! I am so grateful because of this reason, and countless others, but this achievement (bringing my science grade up from a B to an A) is something I will always cherish whenever I feel down or uninspired to improve. Newsflash; It's possible. I have proof. 

Besides that, there are other things that have given me the chance to improve, but the number one thing that I've learnt is to just enjoy yourself. Trust me, one year from now, things that seemed to complicated will turn out to have simply been mere speed bumps in your journey of life. 

did i really just write that

Of course there are some things that I wish I could change, but the fact is; you can't. So until you grow up and learn to accept that, you won't be able to move forward. It will destroy you.

#realtalk #cantbelieveijustusedahastag

Wow, my blogging skills are just amazing.

I want to remember this year as life changing, and in all honesty. It was. It was everything that I could have asked for and more. It was inspirational. It was hopelessness. It was emotions flying everywhere. It was me discovering who I am, one step at a time.  Smiles, tears, laughs, cries, they all contributed to making this year epic. 

My life isn't some picture perfect fairy tale, nor is it some posh hollywood lifestyle. But the important thing to remember is that it's mine. So many people don't even get the chance to enjoy their life. I think that's a big thing to remember, It's hard, there'll be times when you feel like letting go, but it's your life. You have the opportunity to help someone in need. You have the chance to break free of the whatever is holding you down. You can do anything you want. You. 

Now, I don't intend this to be some sentimental post about believing in yourself, but I do think this should be about being happy. As this year ends, another will start. The world won't stop spinning for you, so don't do the same for it. I know for sure that I'm going to do everything I possible can to make 2015 amazing. I won't hold back. Every day is a blessing that countless people don't have the chance to experience, so remember that when you're sad. I will.

Gosh, I sound so cheesy. But like I said, now's the perfect to be cheesy than any other. You can use 2015 as an opportunity to do wonderful things, or quite the opposite. It's your decision.

So make your choices count. 

Goodbye 2014!

school more like no

exclusive footage of me exiting the school

So school ended.

And basically I'm going ballistic because of all the new opportunities that I can finally take advantage of during the holidays. I can't wait to just wake up at 10 in the morning and not have to instantly regret not setting my alarm. Not to mention all the things I'll be able to do instead of idly blinking in a desk in front of the teacher. And no studying!! How great is that? I'll finally be able to relax and not constantly check my diary every five minutes to finish all my homework. Also, the cover of my diary was starting to fall apart, it's kind of sad, really. Just like when my umbrella was absolutely trashed because of a really windy day, and Mr Z came into the Geography room and looked it and said, "Wow, that's the saddest umbrella I've ever seen." Followed by inevitable question, "Who's is it?" Which led to nearly the whole class looking at me, and me slowly sinking into the hole of embarrassment that had just opened up on the ground. 

Asides from that, I wanted to talk about my day in this post. so that's exactly what I intend on doing. Starting from the very start of school. 

MY VERY DETAILED(?) RECOUNT

The day started off with me being late to school, topped off with the fact that I basically had no idea where to go, I was in big trouble. However, everything was okay again when I noticed my friend. I was so relieved when I saw her, and she told me that we basically had to go to our first period of the day. She also happened to mention that I would be receiving an official award in the MPU, along with the all the people in my friend circle. I was ecstatic.

So, I entered the classroom, and the teacher totally forgot about us! After 20 minutes, my friend and I had to go and tell her, and she was just like, "Oh, I though it was Thursday!" This led to us being one of the last classes to make it to MPU, where we were told to bring a gold coin donation. I, being the idiot I am, didn't realise you didn't have to donate, so I hurriedly rushed to classroom to get my money. By the time I came back, everyone in the MPU was seated and singing the national anthem. 

I had to ask one of the teachers where I should sit, because I was receiving an award, and he told me to sit on one of the seats in the front. But, since the seating was meant to be in alphabetical order, I was in the wrong seat and far, far away from where I was supposed to be sitting. 15 minutes and tons of panic later, I finally got the opportunity to slip past people and sit in my allocated spot. 

Then, I had to quickly rush to receive my award, and sit back down in my seat. After that, I was able to relax and actually discover what awards I had been given. Geography and Science! I was so excited, I'm still really really happy, especially since I consider Science to be one of my worst subjects. But hey, if my teacher's happy I'm happy! 

The following hour (it felt like it) was spent clapping for other people, and listening to them getting awards. As you can tell, it got a little tiring after a while. I basically wanted to this. 

except in this case i would have awards in my hand

So that was that.

When all of that ended, I got to enjoy festivus, and eat all the food I could possible want. I bought tons of jewelry, such as bracelets and necklaces, and I'm wearing one of them right now. It's this really pretty butterfly one. My friends also gave me some pressies for the end of the year, and one of the most interesting things I got was a pedicure/manicure set. I've never actually used one before, so it'll be interesting to see how this one goes. One of my friends gave me chocolate aND IT WAS SO DELICIOUS!!  

Anyway, there was loads of music playing, and performances, but the definite highlight of the day was the sumo wrestling match between numerous teachers. It was hilarious to watch. 

Towards the end of the day, everyone started packing up, and were getting ready to receive the school reports, I was extremely nervous for them because I felt like I would do horrible. The suspense was of pure agony in the MPU as people hesitantly waited for their report. As soon I got mine, my heart immediately started to speed up. It was pretty much my soundtrack as I read through my report. But nervousness quickly turned to happiness as I found out that I did pretty damn well! The only mark that wasn't as good as I wanted it to be was PDHPE, but I don't really care about that, so let's just forget about it being an actual subject for the time being. I got an A for science!!!!! I accomplished one of my main goals for the year! Compared to the last two terms, my report for this term is something I am really proud of. My mum was happy with it as well, particularly the one for science. 

All in all, this year has been in one word; awesome. I've met so many lovely people, and without them my experiences of this year would simply not be the same. I've learnt so many new things, and have definitely matured as a person. I can can't wait for being in Year 8 next year, and not be referred to as a 'sevvie' anymore. 

I wouldn't change one thing for this year, and I know that;

All the despair, happiness and hope has led to this moment. And I can say that I am proud of who I have become, as always there is room for improvement, but for now I am grateful for the things that have happened this because without them I would not be the same person I am today. It sounds really cheesy, I know, yet it's the truth.

So as I bid this school year adieu, I leave you with one of my favourite lines from a song that I heard today. 

mockingjay

I kind of forgot to mention that I watched Mockingjay on Friday from school. Oh, the privileges of being in book club. 

Mockingjay definitely exceeded my expectations. It was downright amazing. The music, the pacing, and pretty much everything else worked seamlessly together to provide an awesome viewing experience. I still can't get over Jennifer Lawrence singing Hanging Tree in the movie. It was moving. In fact, even the credits had this slow paced song by Lorde that only seemed to emphasize the events that had just happened.

Sure, it was just Part 1. But I've gotta say, I am super excited to watch Part 2 next year. Especially since this movie was bomb. I wouldn't change one thing. Just thinking about the movie is getting me excited, Mockingjay Part 1 had everything that I wanted and more. I remember being so immersed in the movie that I would just lean forward to experience every moment of it, but I think it was from the moment that Katniss agreed to be the Mockingjay that I truly felt the greatness of the movie,

Anyway, that was just my short post for today. We're going to Jamberoo sometime next week. I can't wait! Especially since one of my friends who thought she wouldn't be able to go, is able to go now! We had this swim test last week, and everyone was so nervous for it, including me. I passed, however it was a bittersweet moment since my friend couldn't make it. But it's all good now since there's going to be another one for the people who couldn't make it, so I guess she's happy about that as well.

...and then after that it's the holidays! Whoo!